About

 

The last few years of my life have been an amazing, at times unbelievable, often terrifying, and incredibly thrilling journey; emerging out of fear, judgment, suffering, and ego-conditioning, and moving towards self-love, conscious awareness, authenticity, forgiveness, acceptance, and surrender.

My personal intention for this site is that it serve as a catalog of the thoughts, experiences, and resources I’ve been collecting as I go. I hope they are helpful to those who might feel (as I often have) like they are wandering around in the darkness.

Here’s the thing – I’m not a good writer. When I’m writing, I imagine that I’m speaking to you, and my words (like my speech) meander all over the place. My grammar and structure leave much to be desired, I know. My only real excuse (aside from a terribly insufficient primary education) is that English wasn’t my first language. I’m not sure how far that gets me… More honestly, I never took the time to work on my writing, and I still don’t feel like it.

But there is something within that keeps asking me to write and share the things I’m learning and experiencing. I’ve often struggled with the question of whether it’s appropriate to write about deeply sacred and personal things (I sometimes fear that it’s just vanity), but the answer from within has always been in the affirmative. Some of the posts come to me, in ready- made paragraphs in my mind, and it feels as though I’m just transcribing them. I take that as a sign that the content is asking to be shared.

Here’s an ever-growing short background story:

A few years ago, living a rather normal life, I suddenly experienced a very intense spiritual awakening. The details are a very cliche story for another time. (Basically, sitting in a park, under a tree, I listened to some podcasts, and out of nowhere… Awakening! What followed was an entire week of divine love and bliss, and incredible insights into universal wisdom and truth.).

After coming back down to earth, it felt as if something opened for me that could no longer be closed. Everything was different; and I could no longer go back to the life I was living. Feeling compelled to follow this calling to something I didn’t fully understand or appreciate at the time, off I went on my journey of discovery.

Since then, I have dedicated myself almost exclusively to spiritual study and practice. I immersed myself entirely into a variety of spiritual and esoteric traditions and philosophies (toltec, buddhist, tao, zen, shamanism, stoicism, hermeticism, advaita, and non-dual shaiva tantra. Most recently, I’ve been devouring the writings of the Christian mystics.).

More importantly, I spent an incredible year as a Toltec apprentice with Nagual Gaya Jenkins (in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz). I’ve also studied just about all the major new-age teachings, and spent a year learning sacred sexuality across most of the traditions.

After nearly two years of practice and deep (deep!) inner clearing work, I went through a powerful ego-death experience, a spontaneous initiation, and shortly thereafter, I started to experience the symptoms of a full-blown kundalini awakening. Since then, I have been learning all about this divine process, and navigating incredible states of altered consciousness, mystical events, as well as very intense and challenging periods of healing. I’ve also encountered multiple twin souls, or twin flames, and learned a great deal about the spiritual principles governing those dynamics.

Over the past two years (almost), I’ve been undergoing a profound purification process (both very very painful and scary). I’ve been taken on a philosophical/mystical tour, across continents and cultures, and throughout time. I’ve been taught about the cultivation of virtue, groomed in spiritual warrior-ship, endured unimaginable destructions, afflictions, and purgations, experienced and cleared innumerable past lives, reluctantly (very very reluctantly) mastered the realms of darkness, fear, and desire, and witnessed the unfathomable mystery and devastating nature of truth. (It exists in a very convoluted contradictory structure, snake-like, going first one way towards a particular polarity, then the opposite way back towards the other extreme. The deeper you get the more human logic surrenders to mystical logical where duality disintegrates and a unitive middle way is revealed. It holds within itself all the truths and all the perspectives balanced as one. Outside of a mystical state of consciousness, it is impossible to grasp with the mind.).

I’ve been functionally and physically disabled for the duration of this process, often unable to get out of bed for days. I’ve learned to take most of it in stride now, since I derive a great deal of meaning and purpose from this work, but it’s been objectively catastrophically awful. I have traversed a great deal of terrifying and unbearable psychological conditions. Not a day has gone by without physical, psychological, and intense emotional turmoil. (I don’t think I need to say this, but I wouldn’t recommend any of this to anyone.) The good news is that I’ve found my way (with divine guidance) through all of it, and have some new healing modalities and discoveries to share.

Currently, I live a monastic lifestyle, continuing to dedicate all of my waking hours (and sometimes sleeping hours) to mystical work. (It appears I’m not quite finished yet, but almost.). When I’m able, I work with others as a guide and spiritual teacher. Combining all of the teachings, traditions, experiences, and wisdom I’ve received (from teachers as well as through realization and revelation), I help others with their spiritual work. At some point, I was intuitively given a unique set of tools and guidance on how to work with kundalini energy itself; and how to support and guide those who are suffering from intense and painful kundalini syndrome. The links in the menu bar will take you to more information about that. 

Thank you for visiting and reading. If you wish to contact me directly, my email address is fromheretolove@gmail.com.

Angela Sophia

 

 

8 Comments

  1. Roc O'Connor, SJ
    July 12, 2015 @ 2:03 pm

    It’s good to read about another traveler. I’ve read some in the list of your teachers and admire then (especially PC). My own teachers would include also philosophers Gadder, Ricoeur, and Macmurray; spiritual writers Dom Sebastian Moore, Keating, Gillick, and Rolheiser; scripture scholar, Sandra Schneiders; Bill W. and Dr. Bob of the Twelve Steps; and the founder of the Jesuits, St. Ignatius of Loyola.
    I look forward to conversations, Angela. –roc,sj

    • Angela
      July 13, 2015 @ 6:11 am

      Hi Roc,

      Thanks so much for visiting and for sharing your list of teachers. I’m always very interested in new ways of looking at these questions. I’ll be sure to check them out.

  2. Orly Costo
    February 5, 2018 @ 11:10 pm

    Happy to find your Blog through a mutual friend. Thanks for sharing your journey.

    • Angela
      February 6, 2018 @ 6:21 am

      Welcome Orly! Thanks for visiting.

  3. John Backman
    May 22, 2019 @ 9:10 am

    Dear Angela,

    Events in my life led me to Google “mystic” and “intense” this morning, and your website popped up. I am so glad you’ve shared these experiences; while our paths our different, some of your observations ring so true and deep to me. At one point, for example, you speak of the near-total absence of social support for deep inner experience; I feel that every day. Like you, I appreciate reading of someone else’s journey and realizing that maybe I’m not alone or insane either!

    So, thank you. And if I may take issue with one small detail: as a longtime writer myself, I’m captivated by your writing. It’s very good indeed.

    • Angela
      May 22, 2019 @ 10:06 am

      Hi John. Thank you so much. I am sincerely moved by your kind words. It appears to me that the path of the mystic includes isolation and abandonment, by design unfortunately (along with all the hardships and personal struggles that entails). The pain of it is built into the journey, and this archetypal story is repeated in many many mystical accounts. Even, it seems, the company of other mystics doesn’t do much to alleviate the pain, although the validation of experience helps. You are not alone nor insane. 🙂

      I found resonance especially in the story of Zarathustra, when he comes down the mountain, so so excited to share his discoveries with the world. He meets a saint in the forest who tries to discourage him. The saint says “don’t bother. they’ll just laugh at you.” Zarathustra dismisses the saint as a cynic, certain that everyone will be eager to receive his wisdom. But the saint is right – the villagers laugh Zarathustra out of the city, and he is forced to befriend a corpse as his only friend in the world…

      Emotionally, it’s right on target!

  4. Andrew Garley
    July 26, 2019 @ 7:36 pm

    Hi Angela, Connecting and saying hello.
    For 6 Years, everything taken, destroyed.
    The death of the ego is or can be painful, but lots of lessons too.
    I have studied for 31 years, had students and did a lot years ago.
    This time, things are different. From Past lessons.
    I won’t bore you with details as each person’s path is different for differing reasons.
    I have been worried, I would either end up in hospital or worse.
    I found your site, and I read the articles on the Kundalini slowly taking in the info…
    I wanted to share with you as I read your words, I smiled, It was like I was reading my own work, I had an idea of a blog a long time ago, your use of the words made me smile again.
    I wanted to just say thank you x
    It has helped me, I have been doing inner work.
    By finding your work, has given me a focus.
    I have been grounded to focus on the task in hand.
    I will read some more articles in Time.
    Kind regards Andrew.

    • Angela Sophia
      July 26, 2019 @ 7:47 pm

      Thank you Andrew. I’m so glad to hear that you found it helpful. Best wishes for the road ahead.