Ramblings

How to tell the difference between intuition and fear

I’ve come up with a series of ideas over the last few weeks, that involve making major decisions and investments of time and money. At first I felt a sense of excitement, and then some feelings of fear and doubt started to creep in. In trying to watch my thoughts from an observer perspective, I started to wonder if the fear and doubt was conditioned egoic thinking, or if it was my intuition telling me to stop and wait. A few articles and youtube videos later, I came upon one from Simone Wright – which resonated with me.

I think the main take-away from the video, and the answer to my question, is that intuition comes in an emotionally neutral way. If you’re experiencing an emotional charge, that is not the intuition speaking. It could be your own fear based thoughts or beliefs, or it could be an emotional reaction to the intuitive information itself. The key is to stop and watch what’s happening in the mind at that moment.

I also especially liked what Simone says right in the beginning: “Our intuition is the voice of our soul… who wants the highest good for us, who believes that we are capable of doing everything and anything that we set our minds to. So it’s also important to make the distinction that the voice of our intuition is going to guide us in supportive ways. It’s never going to diminish us. It’s never going to tell us that we’re a failure or we’re stupid.”

 

More happiness, please!

Happy Friday!! I came across two amazing new pieces in my spiritual journey, and since blog posts are free, I figured I’d share some more videos with you. (Also embedding videos is my new favorite thing, so yay!)

Here is a good sample of The Work by Byron Katie. Her entire message is that believing our thoughts is the cause of our suffering. Her program (which is easy and available for free) gets you to look at the roots of your beliefs, and to question them. In the questioning (or “inquiry,” as she calls it) you will find relief and peace and happiness.

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Where’s my happiness? Part 2

Will Meyerhofer, JD MSW

Will Meyerhofer, JD MSW

Last week I shared my search for happiness story with you. (The tl;dr version is – I was unhappy. Found peace. Now I’m happy.) Thank you to everyone who wrote me, for all the love, support, and internet hugs!

This week, I’m so thrilled to welcome a very special guest, Will Meyerhofer, JD MSW, to continue this conversation about self-esteem. I’ve been following (read internet stalking) Will for some time, so I’m really excited that he agreed to sit down for a chat with me.

Here’s what you need to know about Will: he is the author of “Way Worse than Being a Dentist: the Lawyer’s Quest for Meaning” which was published in the fall of 2011. He has also written a book introducing and elaborating upon the central concepts of psychotherapy, “Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy,” which was reissued as a paperback in December, 2011. Will writes regularly for Above The Law, and maintains a blog about life, the law and psychotherapy, at www.thepeoplestherapist.com.  He attended Harvard College, the NYU School of Law, and the Hunter College School of Social Work. From 1997-1999, Will worked as an associate at Sullivan & Cromwell. Since 2005 he’s been a psychotherapist with a private practice in downtown Manhattan and a somewhat inadvertent speciality in working with lawyers. Will’s new book, a comic novel about a psychotherapist who falls in love with a blue alien from outer space, is called “Bad Therapist:  A Romance.”  For more information about Will and his practice, please visit www.aquietroom.com.

Now without further ado… (more…)

What is this thing called happiness, and where do I find mine?

 

Some time ago, running a million miles an hour, I realized that I was really unhappy.

I mean, really, really unhappy. While on paper, everything looked fine (work, home, relationships), in the pit of my stomach I knew something was wrong.

First, I blamed everything around me: the hours I was working, the type of work I was doing, the difficult clients, and uncooperative economy. Then my beloved dog died, and I wrote off my unhappiness to grief.  It took some time to recover, but when the grief went away, I was still really unhappy.

I threw myself into one hobby after another, looking for something that would make me happy.

I learned to cook, to code, to sew. I watched everything I could find on Netflix. I read one book after another and still … nothing. I watched a ton of TED Talks and still nothing resonated. I read Godin, and Gladwell, and Daniel Pink… still nothing.

Then I tried the self-help arena. I practiced daily affirmations and learned about the law of attraction. I read article after article about happiness and passion and what it means and how to find it… nothing worked.

Hypnosis? Tried it. It was nice for a few minutes, but no lasting effects.

I let a friend drag me to some kind of seminar, which turned out to be a cult. (I’m not kidding).

I tried returning to my religious upbringing, and when that didn’t work, I investigated other religions. I even went to see a shaman who chanted, waved feathers at me, and then and spit-sprayed me with fire and rum. (I promise this is all true).

I was determined to find a solution.
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