Confession: I don’t know how to tell you that you’ve hurt my feelings.

Life Lesson – Conflict

Some time ago, along the path of intense self-discovery, I realized that I’m not good at conflict, neither the confrontation, nor the resolution. Ironic, for a litigator, yes? (You’d be surprised how many lawyers have a problem with conflict). But conflict happens in every relationship, and if you don’t know how to handle conflict in a healthy constructive way, you’re in real trouble.

 

What I mean, in a practical sense, is that when my feelings are hurt; when I am mistreated in some way; when a friend or loved one oversteps a boundary – I don’t say anything. I just pretend it didn’t happen. I ignore it. I shove it down, deeper and deeper. I will push it down as far as possible, and will let it rot in the depths of my psyche. I always assumed this was normal, and called it “forgiveness.” Boy, was I wrong!

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