There used to be a full website here, robust with scores of pages and posts on all kinds of subjects related to spirituality, mysticism, and self-discovery. Suddenly, it feels to me like none of that matches with me anymore. I am no longer the person represented by those pages, and I wanted in a way to break the connection with those perspectives.
It feels like I’m starting something new, or that something new is about to begin, and though I might recycle some of the old content when appropriate, I feel that I want to let go of that old weight and burden. So, I’ve cleaned the slate and am starting over.
For those who are new to this site – I am a former lawyer, then I spent some years in the recruiting/human resources space, and am currently a monk and mystic, sometimes spiritual teacher. What I am not is a therapist. If you need therapeutic help, please seek a qualified professional. This website is intended for educational purposes, for an audience of those who are devoted to authentic spiritual work.
In my mind, I am talking to people who are doing significant growth work (the kind that involves self-discovery, awareness, trauma processing and healing, etc.), with knowledge and experience in spiritual doctrines and practices, and extensive work in the narcissistic abuse recovery area. It’s a strange intersection of stuff, but that’s primarily my area of interest these days. If you are here, I assume it is yours as well. This site is for people who are doing real painful difficult inner work…
Everything I talk about here comes from my own discoveries and excavations of the darkness, not from other people’s writings or beliefs. After doing my own work, I have often found the same truths, the same discoveries, articulated better by other people; in those cases, I share the quotes. I want to make it clear – what I’m writing about are not theoretical ideas, or intellectual/philosophical posturings or hypotheses. I am not interested in the intellectual exchange of ideas, nor the development of philosophical theories.
Authentic discovery work involves traveling into one’s own depths, and in sorting out pains, and wounds, and imbalances, deriving what can only be called wisdom. That wisdom is a set of deeply paradoxical truths, existing at different states of consciousness, each one valid on its own level of awareness. I would love to engage on the substance. If you are doing your own work and have substantive criticisms, questions, contrary discoveries that arrived at different results, I’d love to hear them.
I used to have all the comment sections on my posts turned off, because, well, this is the internet and I was in a state of extreme sensitivity for years. I might experiment with turning them back on now, but I have extremely low tolerance for jerks (especially, especially for narcissists in spiritual garb). If your comments are shallow and lack legitimate inner sources, if you merely read the ideas somewhere and believe them because they sound good, please don’t bother here. That’s not the kind of work I do. I also don’t especially like empty flatteries; it is a waste of your energy and mine.
All that said, welcome and I hope you find some of this material helpful.